Share Stories – August

August Stories

 

Let your stories satisfy like a sweet, cool, refreshing ice cream cone on a hot day.

A minimum of one week in advance of your feedback session, upload your piece for review here. Feedback groups are created and posted here by end of the day on Wednesday before the feedback group. Check back to determine who your feedback partners are, download their stories, and begin your review.

This is also a place where all Life Writers can come to enjoy fellow members’ stories. Then, if you care to, leave the author a note of encouragement.

Feedback Groups

Group 1

  • Vern Schmitz
  • Etya Krichmar
  • Terry Deer

Group 2

  • Holly Martinez
  • Julie Folkerts
  • Lisa Marie Webb

Group 3

  • Steve Rosbash
  • Nancy Archibald
  • Tom Weikel

Group 4

  • Orah Zamir
  • Jackie Raymond

Group 5

  • John Roche
  • Linda Peterson
  • Norma Beasley
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Tom
Tom
3 months ago

Here is my story. (Third attempt at loading it.)

Catherine
2 months ago
Reply to  Tom Weikel

What a great story, Tom. I it brought back memories. I liked that you tied the end and the beginning together with commentary and humor. Good writing.

Julie
3 months ago
Reply to  Tom Weikel

Great story Tom. I remember those first coolers too. Good descriptions. Thanks for sharing!

Steven
3 months ago
Reply to  Tom Weikel

What a really COOL story.

Nancy
3 months ago
Reply to  Tom Weikel

Hi Tom, I was with you all the way through your story about the evolution of keeping things cool. I especially enjoyed the way you described the metal ice trays. This story could very easily spark a conversation of others’ experiences with making and storing ice.

Linda
3 months ago
Reply to  Tom Weikel

Tom, Great descriptions, from the heavy old coolers (I love the picture of the Coke cooler) to the portrayal of the struggle with the metal ice cube trays, to those wonderful, not so durable foam coolers. Great job!

Lauren Hayes
Admin
3 months ago

Here is Jackie Raymond’s story:

This is a fantasy story about two little ladies one 104 and the other 90 reliving a childhood experience when both were four and/or five years old when they both had made mudpies, one in Iowa, the other in Kentucky. Relive with both Lucille and Jackie and Mudpies and Hi tea. I would like Buddies to critique as a possible child book.

Julie
3 months ago
Reply to  Lauren Hayes

Jackie, what a cute story about mud pies. I liked to make them but didn’t like getting my hands dirty. So glad you and Lucille were able to meet each other. Hope I can meet you both one day! Thanks for sharing!

Nancy
3 months ago
Reply to  Lauren Hayes

I enjoyed your story of Lucille and your high tea party. It was wonderful that you could meet and share common experiences. I loved the stories of the mud pies.

Linda
3 months ago

The Story of My Beginning

Nancy
3 months ago
Reply to  Linda Peterson

I enjoyed the story of your early childhood. I could feel the excitement of your sisters when you came home from the hospital. The caring the sisters had for you became evident when they included you in the style show.

Etya
3 months ago
Reply to  Linda Peterson

Linda, a beautiful story. It gripped me from the beginning to the end. You told it well. What a blessing it was that the brain released the liquid. I could just see you stealing the pageant. Thank for sharing.

Julie
3 months ago
Reply to  Linda Peterson

Linda, great use of dialog. Your stories are fascinating. I look forward to more of them. Thanks for sharing!

Lisa Marie
3 months ago

Try again…here is my story. All feedback welcome.

JOHN
3 months ago

LM, I don’t know if we’ve discussed this. But I was a USAF Security Forces commander for 17 years. I just read your story and it gave me flashbacks to our war-game days in Little Rock, AR and Bastrop, TX. I actually got chills when you said, “Exercise, Exercise, Exercise.”
Good (and harrowing) story.

Last edited 3 months ago by JOHN ROCHE
THIERRY
3 months ago

”like a great overstuffed camouflaged boa”, ”uniformed popsicles” these images brought through your writing this ”event” help balance emotions in the midst of danger. Shows the strength, spirit and power that define you as a courageous person. Is their more to the ending?

Nancy
3 months ago

Thanks, Lisa for letting us in on your military adventure in Alaska. You create such vivid pictures of the trucks, radios, scenery, convoy, and the trucks trying to maneuver the ice. Excitement!

Linda
3 months ago

Wow! Absolutely spellbinding nerve-wracking story. And you told it so well! The descriptions of the smell of the diesel, the provisions needed and why, the horror of the sliding trucks. Great job! Thanks for sharing.

Last edited 3 months ago by Linda Peterson
Etya
3 months ago

Horrifying. Glad you made it out alive. Great story, LM.

Julie
3 months ago

Lisa Marie – What a hair-raising experience! So glad you and your troop were okay. Very different working environment. Great dialog!! Thanks for sharing!

Lisa Marie
3 months ago

Here is the draft of my story Trucks on Ice. All feedback welcome.

Vernon
3 months ago

I hope to get some help in shortening the work, while still meeting the expectations of my farm audience and that of those without that experience.

Julie
3 months ago
Reply to  Vernon Schmitz

Vernon, what an awesome job of detailing the work you and your father accomplished along with moving the tractors and equipment on the country road. Both my husband’s family and mine were farmers in Kansas. Hearing the stories of family and the hardships they endured made me understand your story. Thanks for sharing!

Nancy
3 months ago
Reply to  Vernon Schmitz

I could picture what was happening as you did your work on the farm. I grew up on the farm but we had beef cattle so we fed them hay and finished the calves with grain. Sometimes I try to describe the machinery Dad used. This story was entertaining and informative, not only about the work but about the relationships with your neighbour, siblings and father.

Vernon
3 months ago

You bring up an important point, even though you grew up on a farm, but a beef farm, you probably didn’t feed your cattle silage. So, even with your farm background and potentially a part of my farm audience, the silo-filling process probably wasn’t that relevant to you as a reader. If so, much of the story is too specific to interest anyone outside of those involved in dairy farming. Thanks for reading my story and sharing your thoughts. I think it leads me to consider limiting some of the detail of the farming process and spend more time talking… Read more »

Holly
3 months ago

I want serious feedback. Mostly I’d like to know if the story flows and makes sense. I’d like feedback on all the grammar. I do not want feedback on the content of the story.

THIERRY
3 months ago
Reply to  Holly Martinez

I’m not knowledgeable enough to feedback grammar, but will be waiting for the continuation.

Julie
3 months ago
Reply to  Holly Martinez

Holly! I was so into your story – but was disappointed I couldn’t continue reading. Looking forward to the next chapter! I just saw I’m one of your feedback buddies for this month. Looking forward to our conversation. Thanks for sharing!

Nancy
3 months ago
Reply to  Holly Martinez

Your story is getting mysterious and suspenseful. I am wondering what is going to happen in the next chapter.

JOHN
3 months ago
Reply to  Holly Martinez

Holly. You lost me at the end. Am I supposed to make up my own ending? It was an interesting story until th “non-endign.”

JOHN
3 months ago
Reply to  JOHN ROCHE

Holly, I think I just realized that you were finishing a chapter. If that’s the case……….NEVERMIND.

Etya
3 months ago
Reply to  Holly Martinez

Good cliffhanger, Holly. Thanks for sharing.

Julie
3 months ago

Hope you enjoy my story! Thanks!

THIERRY
3 months ago
Reply to  Julie Folkerts

I feel so much for you in that moment. What an accomplishment in many ways, some would say lesson, but I prefer ”win”.

Linda
3 months ago
Reply to  Julie Folkerts

Julie, I did indeed enjoy your story. Though a non-athlete myself, I could picture you, doing your best on the field, can even identify with the confusion toward the end of the race. Sounds like something I would have done, were I an athlete. I can also identify with you longing for your parents to be there to cheer you on. Great story!

JOHN
3 months ago
Reply to  Julie Folkerts

Julie, you go girl. I always liked fast women.

Nancy
3 months ago
Reply to  Julie Folkerts

I really liked your story. I was also involved in the track meet throughout my school years. The 100-yard dash and triple jump were my favourites. Your story brought back memories.

Orah
3 months ago

Here is my story. Please place me with any of our wonderful members.

Julie
3 months ago
Reply to  Orah Zamir

Orah, I’m so glad you express your trials and tribulations in your writing. A well-told story. You are a survivor, as many of us are. Keep on writing. Thanks for sharing!

Nancy
3 months ago
Reply to  Orah Zamir

Oh, the lessons we learn as we go through life. We have so many more riches in our lives than money, we just need to be aware of them and use them wisely.

JOHN
3 months ago
Reply to  Orah Zamir

Orah, well written tale about one of probably many epiphanies in your life.

Etya
3 months ago
Reply to  Orah Zamir

Orah, poignant story. It reminded me of my time in NY when I walked the streets you mentioned in it. What a profound revelation you made when you met the bag lady. It had to happen so you could survive and not end up on the street. Thanks for sharing.

Etya
3 months ago

Thankfully, I didn’t forget. Here is my story.

Julie
3 months ago
Reply to  Etya Krichmar

Etya, You write so well. I enjoy your stories. I felt your pain and betrayal. I hope that in Chapter Forty-Four, we will learn why the betrayal. Thanks for sharing!

Nancy
3 months ago
Reply to  Etya Krichmar

I like how you wrote how you anticipated getting a good grade and your hopes for your future in university. It’s terrible when you cannot figure out why someone would betray you; it takes so much energy. This story makes you want to turn to the next chapter because somehow I don’t think you are defeated.

Steven
3 months ago

Here is part two of my NYC blackout story…Aftermath.
Hope you all enjoy it and I can be paired with anyone for the feedback…Thank you..Steve

Julie
3 months ago
Reply to  Steven Rosbash

Steven,
Great story. You made me feel like I was there with you. I’m sure it stands out in your memory. Thanks for sharing!

Lisa Marie
3 months ago
Reply to  Steven Rosbash

My goodness what a calamity! Interesting experience to read about, Steven. How long was the blackout?

Steven
3 months ago

Thirty million people living in 80,000 square miles. Most had their power restored after about 12 hours.In our minds it lasted a lot longer than that.

Steven
3 months ago
Reply to  Steven Rosbash

It would help if I actually sent it

THIERRY
3 months ago
Reply to  Steven Rosbash

Poignant. You are a true spirit of Brooklyn.

Nancy
3 months ago
Reply to  Steven Rosbash

Thanks for sharing your part of a historical moment in New York City. I like the way your show how this experience has increased your awareness of how fortunate you were. “Home” was a good place to be.

JOHN
3 months ago
Reply to  Steven Rosbash

Way to go Steve. As I said in part one you captured that night very well. As I read part two, I relived that evening almost 56 years ago. It was a weird ride.

Orah
3 months ago
Reply to  Steven Rosbash

I enjoyed your story, Steven. I remember that night well. I was not in the middle of it as you were. I sat comfortable on the building next door to mine at 71st and Broadway watching the cars on Broadway and Amsterdam going nowhere. That is where the two cross. I met someone who became a friend who was also too hot in his apartment and came outside. I appreciate your experience and just wanted more stories like when you said some outcomes were sad but left it there. You were lucky you only had to walk up four floors.… Read more »

Steven
3 months ago
Reply to  Orah Zamir

Thank you…at 21 one I could do 30 but now I would get tired just thinking of it…Steve

Etya
3 months ago
Reply to  Steven Rosbash

Steven, beautiful story. Has a lot of food for thought in it. The descriptions were detailed and you placed me where you’ve been. I good follow and identify the streets you named in your story. I was a Brooklyn girl for seventeen years. When did the block out happen? I must have been still living in the USSR because I do not remember experiencing anything like it in New York.

Steven
3 months ago
Reply to  Etya Krichmar

It was November 9, 1965….Thank you and I miss Brooklyn…

Nancy
3 months ago

This is a story of what happened to me when I was three for Feedback Group.

THIERRY
3 months ago

Other than the milk, there was no sour ending to this event. Well written in so few words.

Julie
3 months ago

Wow, Nancy! What a life-saving job everyone did!! And I’m so glad they did. And I completely understand how you thought that was grape soda, as you read in my cherry story! No more grape soda for you! Thank for sharing!

Lisa Marie
3 months ago

That was almost a catastrophe. Glad you were rescued. We’re you frightened? What was your reaction when you took the first sip and found it wasn’t like the sugary drink you tasted before? What was the taste like?
Amazing how everything pulled together to get you to the right help.

JOHN
3 months ago

Wow!!!! And they worry about Pods today.
Captivated me.

Etya
3 months ago

Scary story. I am so glad it turned out to be okay. I liked how you built up the suspense, Nancy. You can improve the story by elaborating on the ending. You need a transition before the last paragraph.

Nancy
3 months ago
Reply to  Etya Krichmar

Thanks, Etya. I have been trying the think about how to end this story. Nancy must have had some recovery time. She may have stayed in the hospital overnight, maybe she still needed time to “pull through”.

Orah
3 months ago
Reply to  Etya Krichmar

Quite a story. Kept me going. I agree with Etya about elaborating on the ending.

Nancy
3 months ago
Reply to  Orah Zamir

Thanks Orah, I am thinking about how I am going to change the end. Maybe Nancy doesn’t get well right away. Complications.

JOHN
3 months ago

Since I reviewed this with my buddies, please hook me up with others. Thanx. John

Julie
3 months ago
Reply to  JOHN ROCHE

John, you are quite the storyteller. Unique in your vocabulary and fun loving as always. Thanks for sharing the cute story!

THIERRY
3 months ago
Reply to  JOHN ROCHE

Again a nice concentrate of events, thanks for sharing.

Nancy
3 months ago
Reply to  JOHN ROCHE

You had quite the weekend. These separate events came alive and more meaningful with your connections and perceptions of them.

Lisa Marie
3 months ago
Reply to  JOHN ROCHE

Wow, John, that was like several stories in one. I suppose you had a good sleep after working all those hours!

Orah
3 months ago
Reply to  JOHN ROCHE

I enjoyed your story John. You certainly had some enlivening experiences as a chauffeur. I wonder if all chauffeurs have them or if something special in you attracted them.

Etya
3 months ago
Reply to  JOHN ROCHE

John, what a life you led. I really enjoyed your story. Descriptive and fun.

Steven
3 months ago
Reply to  JOHN ROCHE

Why don’t you tell us how you really felt? Love your tales..Steve

Norma
3 months ago

Hi Life Writers! Attached is my story for August titled The Hope And Dream Of A Slave. I do not have to be paired with my buddies for the Feedback Session.

Julie
3 months ago
Reply to  Norma Beasley

Norma, well-written story! I think you need to submit it to Medium or other magazines. Thanks for sharing!

THIERRY
3 months ago
Reply to  Norma Beasley

”THE HOPE AND DREAM OF A SLAVE”
If all people you write about could see you today they would surely declare in unison; ”MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.”

Orah
3 months ago
Reply to  Norma Beasley

Norma, I loved your story. The Hope and Dream could be anyone’s just for different reasons. Beautifully written deep from your heart.

Nancy
3 months ago
Reply to  Norma Beasley

It is hard to find out about the past if your parents and grandparents don’t talk about it and slavery isn’t talked about in high school. Your story is a wonderful tribute to your grandfather.

Vernon
3 months ago
Reply to  Norma Beasley

Norma,
Creativity, new information, and emotion are packaged professionally as we expect from the seasoned writer you are. Thanks for sharing it.

Lisa Marie
3 months ago
Reply to  Norma Beasley

Greatly informative and intriguing history, Norma. Maya Angelou…nice touch.

JOHN
3 months ago
Reply to  Norma Beasley

Norma, you’re way too advanced for me. I’m writing for fun. You’re telling some really great stories about the history of America and the development (in light of what’s going on today, I almost hate to use that word) of our country.

Etya
3 months ago
Reply to  Norma Beasley

Norma, I learned something new today about slavery. Thanks for enlightening me. Loved the story. You presented it so well.

Steven
3 months ago
Reply to  Norma Beasley

Norma what a well presented story. Someday somebody will figure out why we have so many massive incidents if mans inhumanity to man in our history. It is starting all over again right here.You are a multidimensional person and a great writer…Steve

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