August Stories
Let your stories satisfy like a sweet, cool, refreshing ice cream cone on a hot day.
A minimum of one week in advance of your feedback session, upload your piece for review here. Feedback groups are created and posted here by end of the day on Wednesday before the feedback group. Check back to determine who your feedback partners are, download their stories, and begin your review.
This is also a place where all Life Writers can come to enjoy fellow members’ stories. Then, if you care to, leave the author a note of encouragement.
Here is my story. (Third attempt at loading it.)
What a great story, Tom. I it brought back memories. I liked that you tied the end and the beginning together with commentary and humor. Good writing.
Fun story! I enjoyed the humor and the nostalgia. I remember those metal ice trays, and they were just as horrible as your description!
Great story Tom. I remember those first coolers too. Good descriptions. Thanks for sharing!
What a really COOL story.
Hi Tom, I was with you all the way through your story about the evolution of keeping things cool. I especially enjoyed the way you described the metal ice trays. This story could very easily spark a conversation of others’ experiences with making and storing ice.
Tom, Great descriptions, from the heavy old coolers (I love the picture of the Coke cooler) to the portrayal of the struggle with the metal ice cube trays, to those wonderful, not so durable foam coolers. Great job!
Here is Jackie Raymond’s story:
This is a fantasy story about two little ladies one 104 and the other 90 reliving a childhood experience when both were four and/or five years old when they both had made mudpies, one in Iowa, the other in Kentucky. Relive with both Lucille and Jackie and Mudpies and Hi tea. I would like Buddies to critique as a possible child book.
Jackie, I love the excitement and the sense of mischief in your story. Your descriptions made me feel as though I was there, enjoying the roses and laughing over the mud pies.
Jackie, what a cute story about mud pies. I liked to make them but didn’t like getting my hands dirty. So glad you and Lucille were able to meet each other. Hope I can meet you both one day! Thanks for sharing!
I enjoyed your story of Lucille and your high tea party. It was wonderful that you could meet and share common experiences. I loved the stories of the mud pies.
The Story of My Beginning
I enjoyed the story of your early childhood. I could feel the excitement of your sisters when you came home from the hospital. The caring the sisters had for you became evident when they included you in the style show.
Linda, a beautiful story. It gripped me from the beginning to the end. You told it well. What a blessing it was that the brain released the liquid. I could just see you stealing the pageant. Thank for sharing.
Linda, great use of dialog. Your stories are fascinating. I look forward to more of them. Thanks for sharing!
Try again…here is my story. All feedback welcome.
LM, I don’t know if we’ve discussed this. But I was a USAF Security Forces commander for 17 years. I just read your story and it gave me flashbacks to our war-game days in Little Rock, AR and Bastrop, TX. I actually got chills when you said, “Exercise, Exercise, Exercise.”
Good (and harrowing) story.
Lisa Marie, you have lived the most adventurous life! This is a terrific story, full of wonderful dialogue and descriptions. I’m thankful you survived it! I also want to know what happened next!
Thank you, Terry. Nothing interesting happened after that. Pretty much checking that everyone was alright and then getting back on the road up to our camp.
”like a great overstuffed camouflaged boa”, ”uniformed popsicles” these images brought through your writing this ”event” help balance emotions in the midst of danger. Shows the strength, spirit and power that define you as a courageous person. Is their more to the ending?
Thanks, Lisa for letting us in on your military adventure in Alaska. You create such vivid pictures of the trucks, radios, scenery, convoy, and the trucks trying to maneuver the ice. Excitement!
Wow! Absolutely spellbinding nerve-wracking story. And you told it so well! The descriptions of the smell of the diesel, the provisions needed and why, the horror of the sliding trucks. Great job! Thanks for sharing.
Horrifying. Glad you made it out alive. Great story, LM.
Lisa Marie – What a hair-raising experience! So glad you and your troop were okay. Very different working environment. Great dialog!! Thanks for sharing!
Here is the draft of my story Trucks on Ice. All feedback welcome.
I hope to get some help in shortening the work, while still meeting the expectations of my farm audience and that of those without that experience.
Vernon, in response to your comment below, I have to say (as one who did not grow up on a farm) that I found the detail in your story fascinating. Your story is full of life and emotion. I look forward to discussing it with you!
Vernon, what an awesome job of detailing the work you and your father accomplished along with moving the tractors and equipment on the country road. Both my husband’s family and mine were farmers in Kansas. Hearing the stories of family and the hardships they endured made me understand your story. Thanks for sharing!
I could picture what was happening as you did your work on the farm. I grew up on the farm but we had beef cattle so we fed them hay and finished the calves with grain. Sometimes I try to describe the machinery Dad used. This story was entertaining and informative, not only about the work but about the relationships with your neighbour, siblings and father.
You bring up an important point, even though you grew up on a farm, but a beef farm, you probably didn’t feed your cattle silage. So, even with your farm background and potentially a part of my farm audience, the silo-filling process probably wasn’t that relevant to you as a reader. If so, much of the story is too specific to interest anyone outside of those involved in dairy farming. Thanks for reading my story and sharing your thoughts. I think it leads me to consider limiting some of the detail of the farming process and spend more time talking… Read more »
I want serious feedback. Mostly I’d like to know if the story flows and makes sense. I’d like feedback on all the grammar. I do not want feedback on the content of the story.
I’m not knowledgeable enough to feedback grammar, but will be waiting for the continuation.
Holly! I was so into your story – but was disappointed I couldn’t continue reading. Looking forward to the next chapter! I just saw I’m one of your feedback buddies for this month. Looking forward to our conversation. Thanks for sharing!
Your story is getting mysterious and suspenseful. I am wondering what is going to happen in the next chapter.
Holly. You lost me at the end. Am I supposed to make up my own ending? It was an interesting story until th “non-endign.”
Holly, I think I just realized that you were finishing a chapter. If that’s the case……….NEVERMIND.
Good cliffhanger, Holly. Thanks for sharing.
WOW!!! and again WOW!!! Holly, is this for real or the beginning of a novel. So far great writing. Excellent dialog, description and I could go on. Excitingly looking forward for the next episode.
This is a fantasy story about two little ladies one 104 and the other 90 reliving a childhood experience when both were four and/or five years old when they both had made mudpies, one in Iowa, the other in Kentucky. Relive with both Lucille and Jackie and Mudpies and Hi tea. I would like Buddies to critique as a possible child book.
What came up when I opened your file was a Ninety-year old’s 13th Birthday Party
Hope you enjoy my story! Thanks!
I feel so much for you in that moment. What an accomplishment in many ways, some would say lesson, but I prefer ”win”.
Julie, I did indeed enjoy your story. Though a non-athlete myself, I could picture you, doing your best on the field, can even identify with the confusion toward the end of the race. Sounds like something I would have done, were I an athlete. I can also identify with you longing for your parents to be there to cheer you on. Great story!
Julie, you go girl. I always liked fast women.
I really liked your story. I was also involved in the track meet throughout my school years. The 100-yard dash and triple jump were my favourites. Your story brought back memories.
Yay! I did it. Used a prompt from Patricia’s book, I remember, and a couple of hours of writing time with my buddy, Eve, and voila!
So heart warming through baking, learning, communication and parents love. Except the ”miscarriage of justice” part, maybe!
You bring a lively perspective to cooking and baking. I love how you characterize your mother, Mike the terrier, your father, and yourself through cooking.
You did it for sure! I enjoyed reading your nostalgic story. It had an easy reading style, a sense of humor, and picture-painting phrases. I could totally see it happening.
Terry, What a heartwarming story! As a baker, I was following you in each of your steps, but didn’t see your Daddy’s tease coming.
Oh, Terry! Your story touched my heart. Your descriptions were excellent and put me right in the moment. I too remember those first baking days with mom. By the way, I am also a baker – not a cook! Thanks for sharing!
Terry, as someone who lives in the kitchen, I loved your descriptions of the various baked goods. Fun and well written story.
Terry, what a beautifully written story. I loved the humor you weaved into it. Your descriptions were vivid. You wrote to five senses and I could smell the cinnamon in your baking goodies. As a baker myself, I can tell you are a baker.
Here is my story. Please place me with any of our wonderful members.
Orah, I’m so glad you express your trials and tribulations in your writing. A well-told story. You are a survivor, as many of us are. Keep on writing. Thanks for sharing!
Oh, the lessons we learn as we go through life. We have so many more riches in our lives than money, we just need to be aware of them and use them wisely.
Orah, well written tale about one of probably many epiphanies in your life.
Orah, poignant story. It reminded me of my time in NY when I walked the streets you mentioned in it. What a profound revelation you made when you met the bag lady. It had to happen so you could survive and not end up on the street. Thanks for sharing.
Thankfully, I didn’t forget. Here is my story.
Etya, this is a powerful story. You write with such feeling about your confidence and your pleasure in studying and taking the exam. I shared your devastation when you realized that your favorite, idolized teacher had betrayed you by withholding the top grade that you earned. What a bitter way to learn the unfairness of the system you grew up in. I’m looking forward to discussing it with. you.
Etya, You write so well. I enjoy your stories. I felt your pain and betrayal. I hope that in Chapter Forty-Four, we will learn why the betrayal. Thanks for sharing!
I like how you wrote how you anticipated getting a good grade and your hopes for your future in university. It’s terrible when you cannot figure out why someone would betray you; it takes so much energy. This story makes you want to turn to the next chapter because somehow I don’t think you are defeated.
Here is part two of my NYC blackout story…Aftermath.
Hope you all enjoy it and I can be paired with anyone for the feedback…Thank you..Steve
Steven,
Great story. You made me feel like I was there with you. I’m sure it stands out in your memory. Thanks for sharing!
My goodness what a calamity! Interesting experience to read about, Steven. How long was the blackout?
Thirty million people living in 80,000 square miles. Most had their power restored after about 12 hours.In our minds it lasted a lot longer than that.
It would help if I actually sent it
Poignant. You are a true spirit of Brooklyn.
Thanks for sharing your part of a historical moment in New York City. I like the way your show how this experience has increased your awareness of how fortunate you were. “Home” was a good place to be.
Way to go Steve. As I said in part one you captured that night very well. As I read part two, I relived that evening almost 56 years ago. It was a weird ride.
I enjoyed your story, Steven. I remember that night well. I was not in the middle of it as you were. I sat comfortable on the building next door to mine at 71st and Broadway watching the cars on Broadway and Amsterdam going nowhere. That is where the two cross. I met someone who became a friend who was also too hot in his apartment and came outside. I appreciate your experience and just wanted more stories like when you said some outcomes were sad but left it there. You were lucky you only had to walk up four floors.… Read more »
Thank you…at 21 one I could do 30 but now I would get tired just thinking of it…Steve
Steven, beautiful story. Has a lot of food for thought in it. The descriptions were detailed and you placed me where you’ve been. I good follow and identify the streets you named in your story. I was a Brooklyn girl for seventeen years. When did the block out happen? I must have been still living in the USSR because I do not remember experiencing anything like it in New York.
It was November 9, 1965….Thank you and I miss Brooklyn…
Better late than not at all. What a well written story, I loved it. I could actually smell that gym-like sweat smell of you humans packed like sardines on the bus. See the dark moonlit buildings light up. You need to be proud of the tremendous advances your all night study binges have produced. My husband and I lived in NYC, W69 betwn Columbus and Broadway every summer, 1992 to 95, March thru October (hot summer smelly time) while we ran businesses at South Street Seaport. We had no blackouts, but did experience packed smelly subways, sewer odors, etc.
This is a story of what happened to me when I was three for Feedback Group.
Other than the milk, there was no sour ending to this event. Well written in so few words.
Wow, Nancy! What a life-saving job everyone did!! And I’m so glad they did. And I completely understand how you thought that was grape soda, as you read in my cherry story! No more grape soda for you! Thank for sharing!
That was almost a catastrophe. Glad you were rescued. We’re you frightened? What was your reaction when you took the first sip and found it wasn’t like the sugary drink you tasted before? What was the taste like?
Amazing how everything pulled together to get you to the right help.
Wow!!!! And they worry about Pods today.
Captivated me.
Scary story. I am so glad it turned out to be okay. I liked how you built up the suspense, Nancy. You can improve the story by elaborating on the ending. You need a transition before the last paragraph.
Thanks, Etya. I have been trying the think about how to end this story. Nancy must have had some recovery time. She may have stayed in the hospital overnight, maybe she still needed time to “pull through”.
Quite a story. Kept me going. I agree with Etya about elaborating on the ending.
Thanks Orah, I am thinking about how I am going to change the end. Maybe Nancy doesn’t get well right away. Complications.
Since I reviewed this with my buddies, please hook me up with others. Thanx. John
John, you are quite the storyteller. Unique in your vocabulary and fun loving as always. Thanks for sharing the cute story!
Again a nice concentrate of events, thanks for sharing.
You had quite the weekend. These separate events came alive and more meaningful with your connections and perceptions of them.
Wow, John, that was like several stories in one. I suppose you had a good sleep after working all those hours!
I enjoyed your story John. You certainly had some enlivening experiences as a chauffeur. I wonder if all chauffeurs have them or if something special in you attracted them.
John, what a life you led. I really enjoyed your story. Descriptive and fun.
Why don’t you tell us how you really felt? Love your tales..Steve
Hi Life Writers! Attached is my story for August titled The Hope And Dream Of A Slave. I do not have to be paired with my buddies for the Feedback Session.
Norma, well-written story! I think you need to submit it to Medium or other magazines. Thanks for sharing!
”THE HOPE AND DREAM OF A SLAVE”
If all people you write about could see you today they would surely declare in unison; ”MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.”
Norma, I loved your story. The Hope and Dream could be anyone’s just for different reasons. Beautifully written deep from your heart.
It is hard to find out about the past if your parents and grandparents don’t talk about it and slavery isn’t talked about in high school. Your story is a wonderful tribute to your grandfather.
Norma,
Creativity, new information, and emotion are packaged professionally as we expect from the seasoned writer you are. Thanks for sharing it.
Greatly informative and intriguing history, Norma. Maya Angelou…nice touch.
Norma, you’re way too advanced for me. I’m writing for fun. You’re telling some really great stories about the history of America and the development (in light of what’s going on today, I almost hate to use that word) of our country.
Norma, I learned something new today about slavery. Thanks for enlightening me. Loved the story. You presented it so well.
Norma what a well presented story. Someday somebody will figure out why we have so many massive incidents if mans inhumanity to man in our history. It is starting all over again right here.You are a multidimensional person and a great writer…Steve