Reading Harry Bernstein’s The Invisible Wall, is like taking a master class in memoir writing. Every page contains a lesson we can use to improve our writing, and chapters six through eight, do not disappoint. We continue to watch as Bernstein vividly plays out life on either side of the invisible wall and shows how the wall disintegrates during wartime as residents worry about the sons and fathers who went off to fight.
In this lesson, we concentrate on writing or showing emotion on the page rather than telling what the characters felt, and we have a great example in chapter eight, pages 182-186. We watch the rabbi deteriorate as he goes two long years without word from his son, but Bernstein allows us to see the decline, which makes much more of an impact.
I mentioned how useful The Emotion Thesaurus: A Writer’s Guide to Character Expression is in finding great examples for more than one hundred emotions. If you want to dive a bit deeper into how to show emotion, check out this video from last spring, Showing Emotion.
Try your hand at writing a bit of emotion and share it with us in the comments section below. Happy emoting, I mean writing!
Showing emotion. I pace around the living room of the retreat center. I already love this cat. My heart is beating. I can’t stand still. I can’t concentrate. I want to take the cat home, but I am barely able to feed myself. He would have to go to the vet. What if he got sick? Part of me wants to cry; part of me wants to be angry. Is it fair? Someone else said she would take him. He would have a good home there. I want him. I have wanted a cat for some time but was afraid… Read more »
An example of showing emotion from one of my current works called Heartbreak Moments:
With a wave and a blown kiss, I stepped into the elevator, pushed the button to go down, and leaned against the back wall with all my energy drained, and lost it. Rare hot tears slowly ebbed down my face carrying pieces of my heart.
Patricia, have you tried searching for Yiddish words? I am sure most of his words come from the Yiddish language.
Attached is an excerpt from one of my stories currently under construction. It’s based on the prompt from last session about writing a story about a story told to you.
Millie – I enjoyed your excerpt. I feel like I’ve been in that car more than once. My mother-in-law would often insert her opinion when driving her to an appointment. Great emotion. Thanks for sharing.