In this week’s discussion of Jennifer Lang’s Places We Left Behind, we look at pages 53-78, and we’ll use this question for our discussion:
In this section of text, Jennifer Lang introduces or builds on a number of different topics. What are these topics, and how does she braid them into her overall story?
Read through these pages a couple of times, if possible, and prepare to actively discuss these pages.
Powerful. You painted the gloom extremely well.
I think you misplaced your modifier at the gravesite. Looks like you were wearing the jump suit (maybe a word limit thing).
Barbara, I could read a book with passion about your life in those days. Never knew catgut and such could be used for medical use! You had quite an age gap with your brother, how many years? And the picture of the wreck did you ever think of having it restored? You could put it it up on certain websites and be paid each time one purchases it as you keep the rights to it. I could put up a mural in my home with it! It remains powerful.
The trailer wasn’t salvageable. In another photo we could see that the trailer walls fanned out like an accordion. Trailers weren’t known for stability, especially after WWII when building materials were scarce. My parents had three children separated by many years: Art was 19 years older, and Jim was 9 years older than me.The ten years between the sons was due to my father’s work separation, but I was truly unexpected. Thanks so much for your comments.
You’ve written lovely verse. I especially like, erhaps it is in the calls of the Loons, bickering Blue Jays, tittering Chickadees or whappng Woodpecker. It calms the soul.
But I was totally distracted by the loons. We didn’t have loons in Brooklyn. I didn’t even know what a loon was until On Golden Pond, when Kate Hepburn said, “Listen to the Loons.”
Hi, everybody. Here is the third installment of my story. I forced myself to change everything to past tense in the last two sections, but for this one, I couldn’t do it. I had to tell it in the present tense. It did not feel right in the past tense. Now, I will need to go back and change my versions of the other stories to match.
Just found this page and am reading these stories after posting my own. Your story of a terrible accident with a horse must have been terrifying. I wanted to know so much more…how old were you, did you puncture your lungs with a broken rib? or two? were you too injured to say, get me to a hospital now? Interesting dialogue that the men had…not too compassionate. If you had been the horse, they might have put you down!! Glad they didn’t…
OMG, your writing done so well, I experienced breathing problems. I had asthma for years and reading your story activated those symptoms. Am glad Ed changed course and headed to hospital. Can’t wait until next episode.
In the beginning, I wanted to kill Ed when he said, I will bring her to my house and watch. What an a… hole! Thank God he had a rude awakening at the end and made the right choice. It is horrifying not to breathe. I can relate to that. Again, you left me wanting to learn more.
Oh, Patricia, what a horrible accident. Not much compassion was shown by the onlookers.Thank goodness Ed decided to take you to the hospital. I can’t imagine the pain you endured. I’m awaiting the next chapter.
Wow! Nail biting dialogue. I was worried when one guy asks “what will you do with her?” Thought they might throw you in a ditch. I’m drawn to read more. Exciting but not for you. Ouch!
love that title! You tempted me with your use of the word seeds, then confirmed my interest with earth plane! I enjoyed many of your word choices as you described your career journey – progenators, propelled, confirmation, unaccustomed, embracing, ignited, arrived. Well done!
He was sixteen, she was, maybe fifteen. As far as I know, after their one afternoon together, they never saw or heard from each other again. His parents most likely made sure of that.
Dave, your story reminded me of how my husband got his first loyal customer when he purchased a repair shop in Brooklyn. The guy stopped with a complaint about his brakes, which the previous owner fixed. It was Friday. and my husband was about to close the shop. He offered to check the brakes out. The customer was skeptical until my husband said the magic word. I will do it for free. After finding the problem, he called a parts store. They were closed for the weekend. Now, he faced a dilemma—he could not release the vehicle with a brake… Read more »
It must have been hard to have had some ambition in the same department as Glenn Close. I can see where even more of you could have turned green. I myself have suffered from “green disease”. I love the description of your costume and the hazards it produced.
The question you pose at the end is the perfect ending to the story. We will never know the answer. And in this story you were brave enough to reveal how you felt.
Terry, we need to talk about you rubbing shoulders with an actress I love. I loved your story, especially the punch line at the end. It is a million-dollar question.
I wouldn’t say we rubbed shoulders! I admired (and was frustrated by) her at a distance. She is a remarkable talent, and certainly a great conversation starter. To me, she represents a blessedly unanswered wish. I was not suited to that life and would have been unhappy in it. Fortunately, I was shown another way to feed the inner ham. Storytelling is even more rewarding, as I get to play all the roles!
I was drawn in immediately as I just visited this place. Great descriptions of what feels important at sixteen – learning to drive, summer job, friends, and self esteem. Glad you stayed safe! You are very photogenic and still are!
Great story Julie. Like the others, my alarm bells went off when I read about the man taking your picture. I am glad it worked out well, aside from your least favorite job. I feel your pain. In basic training, I was on the latrine crew. (Latrine queens)
I enjoyed your story, Julie. I liked the descriptions and the touch of humor you inserted into it. Garry’s appearance made me worry about you. Thank God it all ended well. You look beautiful in the picture.
I knew I was going to enjoy this story from the title alone – who wouldn’t love a place called Spearfish? Your story of your summer job takes me back to my high school job – fortunately, in my case no bathrooms were involved! That was a delightful bit of humor. I also appreciated the air of drama and possible danger when Gary came into the story. I distrusted him on sight, but thankfully, it was a more innocent time and place. The photo you include is a wonderful addition. Looks like Patricia has her first “mystery teenage photo” –… Read more »
Barb. loved the way you wrote your story. Mine is similar, the winter that changed the course of my life, I was sixteen, sophomore in high school moved from Cincinnati, Ohio, to Miami, Florida. We stayed and I was south except for 2 years in New York City. See you Thurs, 3:00. Must get story ready.
Very brave of you to use this format. And it served the story well. Wow! I almost expected the sky to fall on you next. I’m glad your family survived all the bad luck.
Barbara, you’ve done a masterful job with this. The poignancy of “Furniture for sale, all gone now”, the use of words like remnants and escape work beautifully to underline the difficulties of this time in your life. It all leads to that shocking ending. We hardly need the photograph to grasp how narrow your escape was. “Goodbye home” says it all. I love the way you’ve played with spacing and color to turn your story into poetry; very adventurous.
Barbara first I love the name Vallejo, it evokes traveling and exotism. But foremost I Love this story, the way you set it up, the colors you use to ponctuate changes and all you say in fewer words. You end with the words “Scary ride”… then the picture. I’ m floored.
Etya, it is that forlorn look in those eyes, and big dark brown/black/grey nose that sucks me in all the time. We had Napoleon and Chatzie, basset hounds, and Sabastian and Yvonne, small to medium size white poodles, all four, plus two parrots, the ten years we lived in McAllen, Texas. I am a dog-freak, look them. Want a medium sized Goldendoodle now as a seeing-eye dog, but not sure I can handle the responsibility living on the 20th floor of a condo in downtown Atlanta.
What a delightful story! Telling it as a series of incidents, complete with the occasional police involvement and Max’s defense in each case, is an inspired format. Max was lucky to find a family willing to put up with his personality flaws and protect him from lawsuits. I love the photo: it’s clear he was usually a big marshmallow.
Judy, I understand, we collected stay animals during our life on St. Simons Island. People must have thought we had an animal rescue home. Two dogs, Roach, Daisy, two white rabbits, a baby chick that drowned in our playroom toilet, 2 gerbils that escaped from their cage, and chewed little holes in our canvas car-top cover, and on and on and on. We had an animal ground in the marsh behind our house where burial ritual were regularly performed. NO we did not sing Ave Maria Jackie R
It’s a sweet but sad story. It was kind and a wonderful role model for your children. I’m sure they still remember your attempt to save a precious life.
Thank you for being someone who willingly takes in an infant bird, does her best to save its life, and holds a funeral to honor the small light gone out of the world when it doesn’t survive. This is a tender, wistful story, full of your personality. Thank you for sharing a less happy encounter.
The following is an attempt to deliver an acrostic poem on the six week chosen theme (SUICIDE) and a wink at Jennifer Lang’s style in her “a memoir in miniature” book, PLACES We Left BEHIND
Next time I read one of your pieces, I will warm up by meditating or a yoga class. Your work on suicide is not for the faint of heart but you are saying what needs to be said and how you feel. Bravo.
You are taking your theme in some interesting directions. Like John, I need to sit with this for awhile to let it sink in. “Steep-sided walls of rebuttal” is a marvelous phrase. As with the snowflake story, you lighten the subject with a playfulness that comes across especially well when the poem is read out loud. The wink to Lang is effective: the last word about Sue is that she’s not only gone, but erased. Chilling.
A very sad poem; it makes me think. It’s very effective in relating your feelings. After many years to reflect on the situation. Well done, including the wink.
It’s fitty-fy minutes before the deadline. This can’t be the right place to post.
Anyway, here’s this week’s asshole. He’s way down the list. Once again, I was over 600 words when I started to chop. It’s a lot harder to tell the whole story with a 300-word constraint.
This guy doesn’t seem so bad in only 297 words.
I looked up gigged and now understand “gig,” a recorded fault during inspection. Why was the flight at fault? understand about the chopping but that John’s poor character still reeks in this short version. That said, I liked Terry’s suggestion of getting to the scene quicker and adding a bit more depth to his grunge.
I said it before John, there is no A$$hole like a military A$$hole! I imagine his disrespect hurt more than you had words to describe. As a LT you needed and deserved support from the enlisted.
You have given yourself a difficult challenge here: you have very few words to get across to us the difficulty of taking an authority role over men who were your peers and an individual who couldn’t adjust to the change in leadership. Pavlik’s sense of injury and need to strike back comes across. It seems his reaction stung, as your writer’s voice is unusually serious here. This episode is worth restoring to its former length. A longer piece could give more detail about the reasons he was the weak link and needed to be transferred. If you want to keep… Read more »
Thanx Terry, Your point is well taken. In reality, it’s not a story that I would be telling, except for this project. As a commander who looked after his troops, I did get upset when my efforts were not appreciated. I spent many a last day of annual tours in a base commander’s office, ensuring that one of my airmen would be on the plane with me flying back to Pittsburgh. It seemed that one of them would do something really stupid near the end of the tour. Active-duty commanders were hell-bent on discipline. I didn’t think the stupidity was… Read more »
I’m wondering how bad he would appear in 600 words. Maybe we can read that version in the future. As always, your stories are always interesting. Well done.
The third micro memoir about my boys playing hockey.
Here is part 4 of Where I’ve Laid My Head.
Continuing a quest for home.
Here’s my continuing story for week three:
290 words.
Week Three – Theme- Loss – Adam
Dar,
Powerful. You painted the gloom extremely well.
I think you misplaced your modifier at the gravesite. Looks like you were wearing the jump suit (maybe a word limit thing).
J
Here’s Part 3 of my continuing short micro-memoir, Where I’ve Laid My Head.
Barbara, I could read a book with passion about your life in those days. Never knew catgut and such could be used for medical use! You had quite an age gap with your brother, how many years? And the picture of the wreck did you ever think of having it restored? You could put it it up on certain websites and be paid each time one purchases it as you keep the rights to it. I could put up a mural in my home with it! It remains powerful.
The trailer wasn’t salvageable. In another photo we could see that the trailer walls fanned out like an accordion. Trailers weren’t known for stability, especially after WWII when building materials were scarce. My parents had three children separated by many years: Art was 19 years older, and Jim was 9 years older than me.The ten years between the sons was due to my father’s work separation, but I was truly unexpected. Thanks so much for your comments.
Micro Memoir Chapter 3, titled in six-word-micro, CAB Hop In Conceive, Achieve, Believe.
It’s good the move was a good one for you, a happy memory. 🙂
Nicely done, MomJa! Is this you in the middle of the first picture?
Micro Memoir Style Trials – Part 3
Stuck on poem format?
I enjoyed every description you made in this piece Kit. You do well stuck on poem format. I love your dog,
Kit, what a beautiful tribute to your dog. I love it so much. The ” Perhaps ” repetition makes it vivid and profound.
You’ve written lovely verse. I especially like, erhaps it is in the calls of the Loons, bickering Blue Jays, tittering Chickadees or whappng Woodpecker. It calms the soul.
Oh, Kit so beautiful and soothing to we savage beasts. Again, another ‘God thing.’ Needed your wise words of wisdom to sooth my frazzled being. Thanks
Kit,
Awesome list.
But I was totally distracted by the loons. We didn’t have loons in Brooklyn. I didn’t even know what a loon was until On Golden Pond, when Kate Hepburn said, “Listen to the Loons.”
I think you nailed it.
J
Thanks, John.
Whapping woodpeckers. Very alliterative. I like the format and resulting story.
Thanks, Dave
Beautiful!
Thank you, Linda
Hi, everybody. Here is the third installment of my story. I forced myself to change everything to past tense in the last two sections, but for this one, I couldn’t do it. I had to tell it in the present tense. It did not feel right in the past tense. Now, I will need to go back and change my versions of the other stories to match.
Just found this page and am reading these stories after posting my own. Your story of a terrible accident with a horse must have been terrifying. I wanted to know so much more…how old were you, did you puncture your lungs with a broken rib? or two? were you too injured to say, get me to a hospital now? Interesting dialogue that the men had…not too compassionate. If you had been the horse, they might have put you down!! Glad they didn’t…
OMG, your writing done so well, I experienced breathing problems. I had asthma for years and reading your story activated those symptoms. Am glad Ed changed course and headed to hospital. Can’t wait until next episode.
In the beginning, I wanted to kill Ed when he said, I will bring her to my house and watch. What an a… hole! Thank God he had a rude awakening at the end and made the right choice. It is horrifying not to breathe. I can relate to that. Again, you left me wanting to learn more.
Oh, Patricia, what a horrible accident. Not much compassion was shown by the onlookers.Thank goodness Ed decided to take you to the hospital. I can’t imagine the pain you endured. I’m awaiting the next chapter.
Wow! Nail biting dialogue. I was worried when one guy asks “what will you do with her?” Thought they might throw you in a ditch. I’m drawn to read more. Exciting but not for you. Ouch!
Excellent job showing how you were treated so cavalierly, while seriously injured. The extent of the pain was demonstrated well.
Yikes! you leave us on the cusp of death. Good thing we know how it ends!
Yep. Leave ’em wanting more. Yes, the end won’t be a real surprise for you guys.
This story gets more intriguing by the installment!
Thanks, Linda. It’s been interesting to relive it again as I write these pieces. I appreciate you reading my story.
Here’s my next story
Sweet little chippie…love the trust he managed to have to come close.
It’s a sweet story, Judy. Most of us never get that close to wildlife. 🙂
What a sweet story, Judy. Chipmunks are so cute in person.
A fun story and a great moment shared. Chipmunks are fun and inquisitive animals.
Absolutely love this story!
Here is my story. The structure, braided and list.
That Governor knew a smart woman when he met her…
Well done, Lorna. You had a distinguished career. Bravo.
Impressive, Lorna! Brava!
Thank you, Etya.
Well done. You were indeed being tested for future responsibilities.
Thanks for your comments, Dave. Indeed.
A lot of information to digest, but I’m sure you proved more than capable of your position.
Thanks for your comments. Linda. I tried to give my best efforts.
Good morning fellow writers. Here is my story for Part 3 titled “From Pencil To Pixel.” 300 wds.
There is no question about it, you are one very talented woman. I think your parents would be very proud of you and your accomplishments.
I agree with Kit; I love your title, too. You traveled a road with hard work and inborn talent to realize a successful career, Norma. Bravo.
love that title! You tempted me with your use of the word seeds, then confirmed my interest with earth plane! I enjoyed many of your word choices as you described your career journey – progenators, propelled, confirmation, unaccustomed, embracing, ignited, arrived. Well done!
You know it.
Amen, Norma
The seeds of our becoming. This is a great opening and is followed by a well-written and thoughtful essay.
I agree, Norma, God had everything to do with it by predestining your faith. The rest you did on your own by pursuing your dreams and persevering.
Here is week number three
Very interesting family relationships. You described the characters well. 🙂
Interesting story, Linda.
what did happen with David and Denise? How young were they? Enquiring minds (busybodies) want to know!
He was sixteen, she was, maybe fifteen. As far as I know, after their one afternoon together, they never saw or heard from each other again. His parents most likely made sure of that.
Is it week three already? Time flies when you’re editing and re-editing to stay within 300 words. Another riding adventure.
Looking on the bright side Dave, if you had paid more, you wouldn’t have a story. Small mercies.
OMG, literally laughing out loud! Again! Much thunder due you.
Even though I’m not very well traveled, I saw this one coming. You really do get what you pay for. I’m enjoying the stories of your travels.
Dave, your story reminded me of how my husband got his first loyal customer when he purchased a repair shop in Brooklyn. The guy stopped with a complaint about his brakes, which the previous owner fixed. It was Friday. and my husband was about to close the shop. He offered to check the brakes out. The customer was skeptical until my husband said the magic word. I will do it for free. After finding the problem, he called a parts store. They were closed for the weekend. Now, he faced a dilemma—he could not release the vehicle with a brake… Read more »
Here’s week three of the Shakespeare theme. Just a touch of the green-eyed monster here, perhaps?
It must have been hard to have had some ambition in the same department as Glenn Close. I can see where even more of you could have turned green. I myself have suffered from “green disease”. I love the description of your costume and the hazards it produced.
I enjoyed your story, Terry, revealing and honest. Well done.
Really cool story Terry. Do you think Glennie remembers you?
The question you pose at the end is the perfect ending to the story. We will never know the answer. And in this story you were brave enough to reveal how you felt.
Terry, we need to talk about you rubbing shoulders with an actress I love. I loved your story, especially the punch line at the end. It is a million-dollar question.
I wouldn’t say we rubbed shoulders! I admired (and was frustrated by) her at a distance. She is a remarkable talent, and certainly a great conversation starter. To me, she represents a blessedly unanswered wish. I was not suited to that life and would have been unhappy in it. Fortunately, I was shown another way to feed the inner ham. Storytelling is even more rewarding, as I get to play all the roles!
You win!
Part 3 – Next Stop – Spearfish, SD
I was drawn in immediately as I just visited this place. Great descriptions of what feels important at sixteen – learning to drive, summer job, friends, and self esteem. Glad you stayed safe! You are very photogenic and still are!
i always enjoy stories of your travels. If Seventeen didn’t like your photos, that’s their loss.
Like everyone else I was concerned about Gary. Great pic of you in your stunning youth.
Great story Julie. Like the others, my alarm bells went off when I read about the man taking your picture. I am glad it worked out well, aside from your least favorite job. I feel your pain. In basic training, I was on the latrine crew. (Latrine queens)
I enjoyed your story, Julie. I liked the descriptions and the touch of humor you inserted into it. Garry’s appearance made me worry about you. Thank God it all ended well. You look beautiful in the picture.
I knew I was going to enjoy this story from the title alone – who wouldn’t love a place called Spearfish? Your story of your summer job takes me back to my high school job – fortunately, in my case no bathrooms were involved! That was a delightful bit of humor. I also appreciated the air of drama and possible danger when Gary came into the story. I distrusted him on sight, but thankfully, it was a more innocent time and place. The photo you include is a wonderful addition. Looks like Patricia has her first “mystery teenage photo” –… Read more »
PART TWO OF SEGMENTED MICRO-MEMOIR.
Barb. loved the way you wrote your story. Mine is similar, the winter that changed the course of my life, I was sixteen, sophomore in high school moved from Cincinnati, Ohio, to Miami, Florida. We stayed and I was south except for 2 years in New York City. See you Thurs, 3:00. Must get story ready.
Wow! What a story! Love your structure and I’m glad you were safe.
Great structure Barb. Made the story really pop. Sad about home gone but you were safe.
Very brave of you to use this format. And it served the story well. Wow! I almost expected the sky to fall on you next. I’m glad your family survived all the bad luck.
Barbara, a beautiful recollection of the hardships your family went through. I loved how you structured this piece. Very creative!
Barbara, you’ve done a masterful job with this. The poignancy of “Furniture for sale, all gone now”, the use of words like remnants and escape work beautifully to underline the difficulties of this time in your life. It all leads to that shocking ending. We hardly need the photograph to grasp how narrow your escape was. “Goodbye home” says it all. I love the way you’ve played with spacing and color to turn your story into poetry; very adventurous.
Barbara first I love the name Vallejo, it evokes traveling and exotism. But foremost I Love this story, the way you set it up, the colors you use to ponctuate changes and all you say in fewer words. You end with the words “Scary ride”… then the picture. I’ m floored.
Barbara,
My head is spinning after this story. It’s a case of, “where is she today?”
If you haven’t done so already, you need to compare notes with Julie and her nomadic adventures.
John
The Animals in My Life. Part Three-Max. I hope you like it. I posted a picture of Max separately.
Etya, it is that forlorn look in those eyes, and big dark brown/black/grey nose that sucks me in all the time. We had Napoleon and Chatzie, basset hounds, and Sabastian and Yvonne, small to medium size white poodles, all four, plus two parrots, the ten years we lived in McAllen, Texas. I am a dog-freak, look them. Want a medium sized Goldendoodle now as a seeing-eye dog, but not sure I can handle the responsibility living on the 20th floor of a condo in downtown Atlanta.
Ah! Now I see the character you were talking about in our breakout group! What a hoot!
As I am a former retriever owner, you had me with his picture. His antics made me wish I had known him.
He was a mischief on four legs.
I’ve known and “owned” dogs like that, our last one in particular.
You need to write a story about the last one.
As a matter of fact, I do have a story about her. Have to see if it’s finished.
What a cool dog Etya. Max kept the family guessing with every new visitor.
Thank you, Judy! I have pages written about his antics. Out of all the animals in my life, he was an enigma.
Was Max related to Marley? I enjoy a good story about a bad dog, but a good bad dog.
In spirit only. I believe Marley was a Yellow Lab. That book was awesome!
Etya,
You floored me with your humour in this story. A delightful twist from your usual history lessons.
John
Ha ha, John. I tried. If you knew me, you would know, I have a sense of humor.
What a delightful story! Telling it as a series of incidents, complete with the occasional police involvement and Max’s defense in each case, is an inspired format. Max was lucky to find a family willing to put up with his personality flaws and protect him from lawsuits. I love the photo: it’s clear he was usually a big marshmallow.
Third Animal Encounter story, 300 words
Judy, I understand, we collected stay animals during our life on St. Simons Island. People must have thought we had an animal rescue home. Two dogs, Roach, Daisy, two white rabbits, a baby chick that drowned in our playroom toilet, 2 gerbils that escaped from their cage, and chewed little holes in our canvas car-top cover, and on and on and on. We had an animal ground in the marsh behind our house where burial ritual were regularly performed. NO we did not sing Ave Maria Jackie R
I liked this story the first time. I like it even better now. Who knew the mother would push it out of the nest?
Great work. Your humanity is on full display with this story.
Oh, what a sweet story, Judy. So sorry you could not save Hector.
Judy, you let me down. You didn’t have anyone sing the Ave Maria at the funeral.
It’s a sweet but sad story. It was kind and a wonderful role model for your children. I’m sure they still remember your attempt to save a precious life.
Thank you for being someone who willingly takes in an infant bird, does her best to save its life, and holds a funeral to honor the small light gone out of the world when it doesn’t survive. This is a tender, wistful story, full of your personality. Thank you for sharing a less happy encounter.
The following is an attempt to deliver an acrostic poem on the six week chosen theme (SUICIDE) and a wink at Jennifer Lang’s style in her “a memoir in miniature” book, PLACES We Left BEHIND
You’re brave, tackling a subject that, too often, is ignored
Next time I read one of your pieces, I will warm up by meditating or a yoga class. Your work on suicide is not for the faint of heart but you are saying what needs to be said and how you feel. Bravo.
You are taking your theme in some interesting directions. Like John, I need to sit with this for awhile to let it sink in. “Steep-sided walls of rebuttal” is a marvelous phrase. As with the snowflake story, you lighten the subject with a playfulness that comes across especially well when the poem is read out loud. The wink to Lang is effective: the last word about Sue is that she’s not only gone, but erased. Chilling.
Love the structure. You are creative, Thierry. Profound.
Deep, Thierry.
Interesting Thierry. I’m going to need a little time to digest this one.
A very sad poem; it makes me think. It’s very effective in relating your feelings. After many years to reflect on the situation. Well done, including the wink.
It’s fitty-fy minutes before the deadline. This can’t be the right place to post.
Anyway, here’s this week’s asshole. He’s way down the list. Once again, I was over 600 words when I started to chop. It’s a lot harder to tell the whole story with a 300-word constraint.
This guy doesn’t seem so bad in only 297 words.
I looked up gigged and now understand “gig,” a recorded fault during inspection. Why was the flight at fault? understand about the chopping but that John’s poor character still reeks in this short version. That said, I liked Terry’s suggestion of getting to the scene quicker and adding a bit more depth to his grunge.
I said it before John, there is no A$$hole like a military A$$hole! I imagine his disrespect hurt more than you had words to describe. As a LT you needed and deserved support from the enlisted.
You have given yourself a difficult challenge here: you have very few words to get across to us the difficulty of taking an authority role over men who were your peers and an individual who couldn’t adjust to the change in leadership. Pavlik’s sense of injury and need to strike back comes across. It seems his reaction stung, as your writer’s voice is unusually serious here. This episode is worth restoring to its former length. A longer piece could give more detail about the reasons he was the weak link and needed to be transferred. If you want to keep… Read more »
Thanx Terry, Your point is well taken. In reality, it’s not a story that I would be telling, except for this project. As a commander who looked after his troops, I did get upset when my efforts were not appreciated. I spent many a last day of annual tours in a base commander’s office, ensuring that one of my airmen would be on the plane with me flying back to Pittsburgh. It seemed that one of them would do something really stupid near the end of the tour. Active-duty commanders were hell-bent on discipline. I didn’t think the stupidity was… Read more »
I hope you write them. I for one would like to read them. I love the title of your group briefing – there is the essential John!
John, I am a little bit disappointed. Where is your sarcasm in this story. I fell flat.
Sorry Etya. After reading your post, I thought I’d leave the humour to you this week.
Too funny, John.
So many assholes, so little time.
I’m wondering how bad he would appear in 600 words. Maybe we can read that version in the future. As always, your stories are always interesting. Well done.
John, your stories are interesting, and I look forward to reading them each week.
But you and John did have one thing in common. Your first name!!