On our last day of the Free Three-Day Writing Challenge, we will do a little time traveling via visualization.
You can use your mind’s eye to revisit past times and collect details your conscious mind might not remember. It’s not mystical or hypnotic but rather a practical way to observe physical, internal, and mental sensations present within a specific moment.
First, pick a moment you want to focus on. Get comfortable, allow me to walk you back in time, and guide you to look for specific emotional clues. Stay committed even if you feel like this exercise id not working.
Are you ready to take a trip? Then, let’s go.
This was a hard one, but needed to help my daughter and son-in-law and I, Five months later my husband, Norman died of pulmonary fibrosis, aided by the heartbreak of losing his beloved first grandson. In my anthology story, I alluded to a vision I had that allowed me to move on knowing they are both waiting for me in heaven. Gives me a goal.
Heart-wrenching, MomJa. A tragedy no parent should ever witness. When I was four, I witnessed a fire on our street where a teenage girl, my sister’s friend, burned alive. I wrote a story about it because, sixty years later, this memory haunts me. Hugs and love.
It was a difficult time in my husband and my life. Then five months later, my husband joined Ryan in death. Yes, it was a rough time in my life, a time when there was only one set of foot prints in my sandy life, when God was carrying me. With Gods grace, support and guidance, that, too, pasted and two sets of footprints returned to the sand. Thank you sweet Etya, Love Momja.
Such a sad, well told story, Jackie,che details of which remain etched in your memory. I admire the take charge response and strength you showed in arranging the funeral. Thank God your faith and hope have given you the will to go on, and to touch so many lives in a good way.
Thank you Lorna. It was a hard one and still is, especially for my daughter and son-in-law. They have constant switches in temperament, God bless them. Our faith, for the most of us has been enriched, thank the Lord.
So sorry your daughter and son-in-law are still processing the trauma. One can only try to understand. Perhaps time will lessen the pain. And of course your strong faith.
My story for day 3. Phew, almost didn’t finish.
Oh my goodness that was quite an urgent experience. Your descriptions were good and emotion came through well. I’m glad this turned out well and that you were both well.
I believe childbirth is always an unpredictable experience!!! Thank you for your words!!!!
Geri, what a story. I had induced labor with my fourth child. She was 10 days late and the doctor was going out of town and unreachable after that day. But my delivery was nothing like yours. How scary and how well told. Also, loved the pictures.
I think every woman has a good story about their pregnancy, labor and delivery. All should tell. Thank you for your kind words.
Great story. Reminded me of when I gave birth to my son. I dilated from one to ten in ten minutes. The pain was unbearable, but it was worth it to bring into the world a kind, talented human being who cares.
I completely agree!! I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I have no doubt.
Here is the attachment.
Beautiful story Lorna. I enjoyed reading it. Roger Moore is my favorite James Bond.
As usual, Lorna, your account of an incident is not only great, but you can count on surprises and beautiful descriptive scenes. Thanks again. Jackie.
I love your story. Serendipity…
Thanks, Geri. Indeed! And worth reflecting on.
Here is my story for Day 3. I made it!!
Day 3 story draft done. Titled The First.
I wobbled on the title between “Honor” or “The First.” What do you think? All feedback welcome.
Congratulations everyone on your participation in the challenge and to all who qualified as Rock Star Writers.
Lisa Marie, how beautiful, I cried through the sing of the National Anthem, you made it so meaningful along with the way you brought in your ceremony. I still marvel over you and your life, and oh yes, your writing.
Thank you m, Jackie. That is very kind.
Well-structured scene. Good focus on your inner emotional story to the poetry of the National Anthem.
Nicely done..
Thank you, Steven.
Nicely done, very visual and a good job showing emotions. One vote for “Honor” here – and congrats, the national anthem a capella, wow!
Thank you, Liz. I appreciate your feedback.
I just realized that you want to know about the title. How about The Honor of The First?
Thank you for the idea.
Oh, Lisa Marie, you made me cry. This story is emotional for me. As a naturalized American, I so love my country. Thank you for your service.
Thank you, Etya. It means a lot to me too.
Day 3 challenge
I loved your story Alberto. So well you captured the flow of your emotions. Gratitude and the chance of new beginnings is also my mantra. Your words paint pictures like a visual artist!
Awee ty so much
Alberto, nicely done! I love this story. You did a wonderful job describing the surrounding and what you felt inside. To be grateful in the face of adversity is courage.
My third story in the Trilogy about the Margate Fishing Pier.
Culmination of the challenge.
Steven, how I not only love your writing style, but love your stories. They always make me smile, cry but most of all make feel there, in the moment. To me, you will always be a young boy flying down the stairs to the trumpet blasting from your father’s record player, a Musketeer, anything but a ? what 70 year old (never. Remember age is merely a number. If I can be twelve at 91, you can be eight or nine at whatever age you might be. Live, love and lavish life to it’s fullest and never be afraid to… Read more »
PS to Etya’s comments below.
Steven, a beautifully written story. I loved your use of metaphors in it. Your descriptions were breathtaking. I loved the philosophical tone and how you reflected on the past.
Day 3 – this is not a new story, but I thought I could do a better job of “SHOWING” emotion. What do you think? Secret All the way home from school for spring break my senior year, I had been bursting to tell Mom my secret. Don’t dare to tell Daddy yet. I was pretty sure Mom would keep it to herself until graduation. I’d had a lifetime of watching her try to screen us kids from his rages, picking a time when he was in a rare good mood to ask for money or bring up a touchy subject.… Read more »
Don’t tell your father….rang true to me!!!! I felt your angst when talking to your mother. Not sure why it had to be that way, but it was. Great story!!!!
Thank you Geri!
Nice buildup to telling the secret. You showed a lot and you told a lot about your parents and your relationship with them. I understand the ending but would have been happier at this point ending with getting the cookie. Well done.
Thanks Orah. That was a last-minute add which I wasn’t sure about. This was still a happy time – maybe better to leave it that way?
OK to leave it that way. Readers love cliff habgers,
Thanks!
Nice job on the descriptions and dialog, Liz. You told so much in this story. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you Etya
Good job on your show/tell, Liz. Your dialogue use makes it flow well, too.
Thank you!
My Day 3 submission. The Broken Leg I am also attaching my reference documents which include; Anatomy, Setting and Characterization charts, Map, Flow chart.. This is rev 3 at exactly 750 words, pared down from the 1019 words in rev 1. Visualization works. Preparing to write, I closed my eyes and visualized my younger self walking down my neighborhood street, and at the corner I saw Mrs. Landers corner grocery which I had forgotten. I very nearly abandoned my story to write instead of Mrs. Landers and the mystery candy bags she’d assemble for us kids or the time I… Read more »
Great job describing your neighborhood, you and your buddies adventure and mishap. You put us
right there with you, adventuring on the ice and th3e resultant accident.
Love the story, can definitely relate to pain, and also relate to friend telling to walk it off, that made me laugh, well written. Very detailed thank you for taking me with you in your journey
I like your story, David.Very vivid description, and the “miniature terrorists setting of a bomb” in your leg was a great way of showing the pain! Keep writing
David, I enjoyed your story. I also had a similar situation, but it was my big toe that was broken. My playmates didn’t believe me and all piled on me on the grass where we were playing kickball. I too came home with crutches! Great imagery. Thanks for sharing!
David, good story. Make sure you check fir repetitive words when you revisit it again. You can tighten it up a bit by shortening your sentences and using adjectives in descriptions. The way you write about ice stalactite could be improved by eliminating the word snow. I liked reading your story. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you for your helpful comments. I will be taking a course in editing, which Patricia is teaching here locally via the Enrichment Academy. That may help.
I am glad you are pursuing the craft of writing.
Challenge 3
Sometimes it’s hard to come in from the garden, your refuge. I like how you described your critters and birds. Very nicely done.
Lovely story. I too relax when I am outside working I my yard.
A beautiful moment. You took me there with you.
Day 3 Story -Visualization – Dreams Do Come True by Idalia Martinez
I felt like I was there with you, dancing the salsa. It’s wonderful how everything came together for you and your husband.
Idalia – I enjoyed your story. I understand your dilemma with finances. Very well told. I could see all the people enjoying the dancing. Thanks for sharing!
I felt your excitement and anticipation of the future.
That is a lovely story – I am dancing with you. Well told
I felt your excitement. Well done!
I was not able to post during this challenge but I did enjoy all the videos. The ideas I’ve absorbed are churning in me and I feel confident the benefits will pop up at some time in the future. Grateful to be awakening my personal emotional thesaurus!
Here is my Day Three story.
Your story emanates the raw emotion of the situation. So sorry you had to go through this, it clouds a time that should have been special between you and your mother.
This brought back memories of a family gathering at my grandmothers. My mom and aunt had a knock down, drag out verbal fight that had been coming for years. No one can wound us like those closest to us.
Sometimes, you have no choice but to break the ties with your family. Especially when the situation is toxic. I think you reached your boiling point with your sister. Good descriptions.
Julie,
I loved your story. I read it out loud and my eight-year-old nephew opened his eyes right at the smack and excitedly waited for what would happen next. Action sells. You definitely kept the reader’s attention with the story. I love the title, Estate Sale Battle. One would await a battle of items, or buyers and not within the family. It’s a very emotional story. The conflict between sisters is strong and clearly expressed. And the family feud is also a very sad reality to live. The differences in your natures as sisters comes across clearly.
DAY THREE SCENE: The Rainbow of the Vision
What beautiful title to describe a rainbow moment of your life. A short, sweet story of an artist moment of supreme victory. Congratulations dear Norma.
You have captured a wonderful emotionally charged moment in your life, showing past, present and future at the same time. Well done.
Thanks kiddo. Much appreciated.
Your description of the scene and surroundings is most enjoyable.
I admire your strength, Norma. You did it on your own.
Norma, what a special story filled with sensory and visual language. Congratulations!
Here is my day three scene.
Very powerful in so many ways. The piece speaks of male domination,
women’s frustration, and youthful rebellion.
You brought me back to to my early teenage years when rebellion came naturally. So much tension in the words not spoken.
Orah, I felt like I was reading two stories, possibly three, in this piece. You started with a description of the house, then switched to referring to your mother as a narcissist, and even mentioned your father’s second marriage. You could tighten it up a bit.
Join in a musical journey
Wonderful story Linda. Your descriptions and actions, even borrowing your sister’s guitar, vividly show your love of music, and passion for the guitar. I can hear you and your sisters performing at those special events. Hope you continue to play on. 🙂 (That reminds me that I share your passion and own a guitar!).
Your love of playing the guitar and music came through in this story. Your description of how your family members also shared the gift of music and the last line of your story “got us through some rough patches”, gave me the impression of how music tied your family together.
Lovely story, Linda. I enjoyed reading it. Good descriptions of the guitar and your love for music came through.
Europe anyone?:
Hi Mary. I know exactly how you felt going to Europe. I can remember my first trip to Europe. I went to London. Left New York around 11pm and the next morning I was in London. I felt it was a safe place to visit. Language would not be a problem. Sine then I have been to Paris, Germany, Greece, Rome. The Scandinavian countries as well. I was so excited to see the real deal just as it was in my school books. May we have many more delightful trips.Keep writing and best wishes always.
I like how you showed how this story changed your life. My son, who is a geography professor, has been taking students to Europe for 25 years now. Your story gives me a glimpse of how his students must feel when they first experience the beauty and culture of a new place.
Hi, Mary. You can definitely tell a story, and I think we can help you improve your skills. We have people in Life Writers who have been published, and one is actively searching for an agent, so there are serious writers in the membership. A lot of them are writing for themselves, family, and fun, so people have a lot of different desires. We send out a survey to new members, asking what they want to get out of the membership. We use that info to pair people up with others of similar goals. I think you’d enjoy Life Writers.… Read more »
Wow! Mary. I have never been to the sites you’ve described here in your story, Europe Anyone. I can see it. You describe the colors, the shapes, the distances and the sizes of things we can see only through you. It was so wonderful reading this story.The place came alive. I can feel the excitement of your travels and am prompted to go too. Great piece for a memoir or a travel magazine.
Although I’ve never been to Europe, I was right there with you, enjoying the sights through your eyes; the nuns, the flowers, the painted roofs, and brightly colored boats. Good job!
Your excitement was palpable. Thanks for sharing. Europe is beautiful.
thank you Mary, I enjoyed this! funny, i get this word of the day, 2 days ago it was funicular. what a coincidence. Your journey was so descriptive, i felt like i was there. I could definitely visualize the settings. Well done.
Good story Mary, I’d like to have more detail on the go cart ride down the hill. That sounded fun.
My Day 3 Story
I liked how you showed the story of your friend’s wedding through the eyes and emotions of a fifteen-year-old.
Thank you, Nancy for reading.
So lovely ty, love tbe story line and the characters really enjoyed the read
Thank you, Alberto.
Thanks for giving me an intricate look at this beautiful ceremony.
Thanks for reading.
Good story Etya. Like David I am going to Google the Ukranian wedding attire. Good descriptions.
I really enjoyed your story. I had to google the Ukrainian costumes you described so well, I wanted to see photos of them
Thanks. I tried to be as authentic as possible. There is more to this story, but I have already exceeded the amounts of words. The following day was the best. We went into the forest to gather mushrooms, and I came across a field of lilies of the valley.
This my Day 3 story.
Your story showed the emotion of this horrific event in a way the reader could also feel it.
A great description of a horrible event.
I am sorry about what must have been a traumatic experience for you. Good writing. I think I felt the emotions you felt because of what you saw. It was thoughtful not to tell your mother.
That is awful Judy. I am sorry you had to witness such a thing.
What a sad story. Too bad you had to witness it all. Good job on writing. I could see everything.
Day three story. This is a continuation of the last few stories about nursing in the North.
As Judy said, I was right there with you. I love dogs, but have an unhealthy respect for some breeds, and never want to encounter a pack. Thank you for your most descriptive stories.
Nancy, I could see the dogfight you described. Unfortunately I’ve seen a dogfight like that. Very scary you were right in the middle of the fray.
Interesting story, Nancy. I enjoyed reading it.
Day 3
great story, Peggy. I like the ending. Where in NY was the house? I’ve seen decrepit, formerly glorious mansions like that in the rural areas of upstate
Thanks for the history lesson. A song by John Anderson, the Seminole Winds, refers to the sound of the ghost of Osceola crying. Your story has carried the past history of your ancestors to your childhood memories.
Thanks for the descriptive history lesson, as well as the ghost story.
Peggy, this is the kind of story that tingles the senses. Scary.
That sounds scary, Peggy. It must have been a ghost living there. I would not go up there either.
Thanks for this 3-day challenge, Patricia and everyone. Indeed, I was challenged. I appreciate all the wonderful tips and the encouragement.
Peace,
Barbara
Hi Anne. Thanks for sharing your emotions and the elegant statement by Elliot. I felt the same way about Pearl when she passed.
The depth of Elliot’s statement almost brings me to tears each time I read it. Pearl was a special person. I am sorry for your loss of such a wonderful friend.
You showed bracing for bad news very well. Life is so fragile.
Thank you Nancy. Indeed.
Life is so fragile…We have to try to live each moment to the fullest, and try not to put off connecting with loved ones.
Thanks for sharing this poignant story, Barbara. You described your emotions well.
I appreciate your comment Etya. You encourage me to keep trying. Thank you.
Peace,
Barbara
You are welcome.
Patricia, I love this presentation. Meditation before writing usually works for me.